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Archive for the ‘Pet Stories’ Category

More dog shit, wooly bully and bullshit

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

OK, I know I talk about my dogs a lot but other than literally working 7 days a week all I have other than work are my dogs. I love them. Kaylee is shall we say, “unplugged” from her drainage tube but the big guy Trey went in for his 2nd cancer removal surgery on Monday. Big bummer. Good news is I brought him home today and he is resting comfortably in Mama’s arms 🙂

My new episode goes up tomorrow on It is titled “Wooly Bully Boobies” because I am wearing a wool sweater and hey, I like that song. I get sort of nasty in this video all by myself. Hey, no one loves you the way that you can love yourself!

The bullshit is what people on the East Coast are dealing with after Sandy. The bullshit is the passing of Prop B in LA and the bullshit is my pet insurance is telling me today that Trey has maxed out his cancer allowance.

On a happier note, Thanksgiving is coming soon and I have such a craving for stuffing. I’ll take it anyway I can get it, homemade, out of the box, at a restaurant, I don’t care, just give me some stuffing! Oh yeah, with some cranberries, please.

Politics, condoms, drainage tubes, cancer and Coronas?

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

Woo hoo, the election is over and no matter what side you are on, you’ve got to be glad it is over. For women it was a great outcome. For gays and marriage equality it was a win. For the Measure B in LA, it was horrible for the adult industry. It is a measure to force condom use on performer’s in the adult industry in Los Angeles County, click here to read more about it if you are unfamiliar. Pretty much everyone in the adult biz has been speaking out against it but it passed and for something that supposedly is meant to “protect us”, is actually going to end up hurting us.

Speaking of hurting, I sadly announce that my little Kaylee got herself into more trouble and must have gotten bit by something which got infected and swelled up like a ping pong ball under her chin and I had to take her on Friday night and didn’t get home until midnight. They sent me home with a little white dog with a drainage tube. Totally yucky and it had to have a warm compress 3 times a day to help it drain. OK, I took her last night to take it out and still have to watch her. And I took my dog Trey in on Monday and found out his cancer is back. Good thing I have doggie insurance. Gotta love those dogs..they keep me sane in an insane world.

This was hanging up in the vet’s office, I think they put that shit up so you feel guilty when they hand you the big fucking bill!

Now on to the good news, my new update goes up tomorrow. Now it was just a spur of the moment shoot, and I got a bit horny and waalaa, we filmed it. Now the big question is, what do you think inspired my horniness. Look at the photo closely. Hmm, liquid libido? You be the judge!

Insane in the membrane

Saturday, October 13th, 2012

Insane in the brain!

Look where I ended up, and my crazy Doctor did a bad bad nasty thing to me while I was all tied up and I liked it.

Check it out on my site, it updated last week.

This week I kept with the crazy theme and did an episode I like to call “Insane Clown Pussy”.

I find the mask rather appealing, hey this way I don’t have to worry about messing up my make-up as I fuck myself with my toy. Plus no one can recognize me, oh then again, maybe the tits give it away!

Creepy clowns are scarier than fuck and these guys got me so scared I came! Yeah, I like to twist fright and sexual excitement into one big emotion.

Check out my newest update on and keep an eye out for more Halloween themed updates. What can I say? I’m in my element and it is so natural to me, kinda like motherhood! Ha!

I’m a good doggy mother at least, just ask my pup Tommy.

Kelly News here…

Saturday, September 29th, 2012

Lots to catch up on here at Kelly Madison Media. First off, sad news to report, Bip and Bap have gone to roach heaven. Sad but true. Next is something a bit happier, doggies are all doing well. Tommy as you can see has adapted very well to his new home and enjoys reading and getting new hairstyles.

I have been knee deep in AT&T business again. We are installing Ethernet cable at our work house. Mind you the house was built in the 80’s in the middle of a lemon orchard so getting any type of modern equipment to it is a pain in the ass. Just to get Ethernet to the house there were 5 of these huge trucks and one with a giant drill on the back of it just tearing up the streets of our town in order to lay the cable. It’s what we gotta do to get video uploaded to our servers quickly to satisfy your porn appetite.

Next I must report that I have been ill. I got a really bad head cold last Sunday and it really kicked my ass. I was down for the count for almost 3 days. The worst part, I was supposed to shoot with Lisa Ann on Wednesday. Shit! My crew did a great job and represented me well and Ryan was a trooper as always but that wasn’t the point. I was supposed to shoot with her. Next time, dammit!

See what I missed…

Lastly from Madison Media land, I report that Halloween is in the air. I just shot my 3rd Halloween inspired video last night. I did 2 the previous weekend. October will be very spooky so beware!

Bip and Bap

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012

We have 2 new pets at the office. Ryan had the brilliant idea of getting roaches to run around a shitty old motel room as part of the scene to make it seem even dirtier so our production assistant / hair stylist went to the pet store and bought 2 Madagascar roaches. Mind you, the store keeper only had 2 left so Carissa paid for the roaches but refused to take them home for the night. Instead she paid for them, left them there overnight and picked them up in the morning to bring to the office. She said she was down with whatever but she refused to babysit roaches at her house. Wendy our office manager named them after a Korean dish that she doesn’t like called BibimBap.

She normally loves Korean food but this particular dish “grosses her out” because of the raw egg, hence the name for the disgusting looking bugs. We used them at the motel on Saturday and now they are safely back in their cage. I want to keep them for our Halloween shoot later this month. They are sort of growing on us all, they kinda fit in with our gang!

Wednesday, August 29th, 2012

Yep, I turned 45 over the weekend. Luckily I took off to the mountains for a few days so I didn’t have to concentrate on being almost 50! I mean, really? 45? OK, so I’m not doing well with the idea of aging but thank god I feel super young. We just got back from staying up at June Lake and we hiked and we went fishing and I felt pretty dang good. We drove up on Friday late afternoon and drove home this morning so 5 nights and 4 days in total heaven. The drive today took about 6 hours. All in all it was a fabulous trip. We took Trey and Tommy and left our little huntress Kaylee with the grandparents.

Here the kids are relaxing on the porch of our cabin.

As with all glorious vacations there is always one tragedy. On our last full day in paradise my old dog Trey decided to jump down an embankment near a creek and unsuspectingly wrestle up a yellow jacket nest. They began to immediately attack him. If you follow my blog then you know he has a compromised immune system and just got through cancer surgery 2 months ago. I went into major mom mode and jumped down and took off my hat and began swatting fearlessly at them to get away from my baby. Trey was paralyzed with pain and fear and just stood there getting stung over and over again and I then started to get stung and began screaming. Ryan then jumped down and picked up our 110lb Trey and swung him back up on the trail and I quickly followed. We ran as fast as we could and the mad hive dwellers were still after us! My head was hurting so bad, the little buggers were caught in my hair! Having hair extensions didn’t help either, they just got stuck in my hair and stayed in there stinging me over and over again on my scalp. Fuck it hurt. It hurt for about 6 hours. Ryan got stung in his arm pit several times and on his back. Trey got stung on his face and Tommy our street smart hound took off the minute the drama started happening and kept a safe distance so he came out stinger free, lucky dude. Well, after taking some Benedryl and ibuprofen and a glass of wine and two pieces of See’s candy and laying around for 6 hours I was good to go. We all got ready and went fishing and hiking to end our last day to catch our last sunset in beautiful June Lake.

Little fuckers

Wow, my dog IS Frankenweenie!

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

Is this life imitating art or art imitating life? Looks eerily alike, huh? Poor baby gets her stitches out on Sunday. Just another scar on that pretty little face of hers.

Another doggie down

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

Wow, I just got Trey all better with all cancer gone and feeling great and back to taking walks and then Sunday night as we were attempting to go take a new scooter out for a joy ride before giving it to our new employee (yeah, I’ll tell you about that one later) we heard a loud scream. My two dogs, Kaylee and Tommy like to bark at the neighbor dogs and they get a bit rough but there is a fence between them. There have been a few nips and bites through the fence but this was a doozy. Kaylee came crying down the hill with blood everywhere. We took her to the vet and 6 stitches later we brought her home. Poor baby, she can’t go outside and chase the chipmunks and squirrels and lizards. She’s really pissed about that. The critters are happy about it, now maybe the lizards can get a chance to grow their tails back!

Where do I begin?

Tuesday, July 17th, 2012

Life has been very interesting in July. It began with my dog having surgery and then complications arose. I spent all 4th of July by his side only to take him in that night to be be re-opened and sewed back up again. He is really mad at me and now with the antibiotics he doesn’t like to eat his food or any other food I try to give him, look how pissed he is with his ears back…

Then there are all the schedule changes that have had to be made in order for me to take care of the big guy. Shoots got cancelled and re-scheduled and every plan I tried to make got moved around. My sisters came out for my niece’s son’s Birthday which had to be cancelled due to him getting foot and mouth disease, yuck. Then they stayed with me all weekend and I entertained them which threw me off as well.

Good news is everything is working out really well with the new girl, Carissa. She does unbelievably good hair plus has great style and is such a hard worker and a nice person and very pretty. Did I mention she was pretty? We have been shopping and putting together some stuff for some cool vintage pinup style shoots not only for my site but for pornfidelity too. Can’t wait to show you guys.

I am also very much enjoying my girl Cathy back at work after a year away. It is nice to have help again with the houses, the pets and the sets and stuff. Not easy cleaning 2 houses with a combination of 9,000 square feet and over 2 acres by yourself! We have been cleaning like crazy not to mention washing 3 dog blankets a day, every day. God damn high maintenance dog!

We also hired a new guy to assist with editing. It is always fun having new people around. I really like our new group dynamics we have here at the company.

Speaking of the company, I am going up to LA today to meet with my accountant. Fun fun fun. Actually, it is fun and I really adore my accountant, David Beider. He puts up with all my craziness and keep my corporation in check.

Oh yeah, the birthday for the previously ill one year old was re-scheduled and we had a blast this past Saturday. The sisters came back out from Vegas and everyone was healthy and happy. Everyone I know or related to had a birthday in June and July. I am sort of birthdayed out. Oh shit, the new guy’s birthday is the end of the month. Geez, it is never going to end. Seriously, 10 birthdays in row? Come on…

I shot a scene for my site on Sunday and I have lots of shoots to do this week to catch up. The dog is better, all the birthdays are over, well, almost over and it is time to get these titties back to work.

Sorry for my abscence…

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

I have been doing so much paperwork and scheduling a surgery and doing lab tests on my dog and myself and running myself ragged. I just got back from the doggy cancer hospital. My baby Trey had to have surgery to remove some cancerous tumors. I swear this is the last time I am cutting into this old dog.

I can’t wait to bring him home tomorrow. I swear this dog has 9 lives like a cat. He is such a trooper. He should be healed from his sutures in a few weeks but until then he is to stay inside the house. Looks like I’m going to have to spend some quality rest time with him. I need it too. I haven’t been feeling well and I had a bunch of tests run but come to find out, I’m OK after all. I just have Adrenal Fatigue. I guess I can’t run on all engines like I’m used to. Time for me to take care of myself and take care of my dog. I have been ordered by tmy doctor to get massages, do yoga and to stay away from caffeine and trying to be super woman all the time. The good news I have some incredible help now. Cathy is back to work after a year of being off for knee surgery and I hired the most amazing hair dresser and stylist. Carissa is awesome and so smart and creative and friendly. I needed a breath of fresh air and she is definitely it. I can take some more time for myself now so I have no excuses! I am going to work on myself in July and August and get myself back in shape physically, emotionally and mentally. Way long overdue…

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