‘Tis the night before Valentine’s Day and all through the house all the creatures are fucking, even the mouse! Hey, hope you are ready for Valentine’s Day. I know a lot of women out there make it pretty hard for you guys. The dinner, the gifts, the expensive jewelry, the flowers, the candy, not to mention the societal pressure to have a date on Valentines, geez. It makes me happy to be a woman. I don’t expect anything on Valentine’s Day. In fact, I make it a day of giving. Today I have updated my site with my Valentine’s gift for you. I love you all and I really love showing my appreciation. I hope you like it
Archive for the ‘Jokes & Stupid Shit’ Category
Spoo-ky
Sunday, October 30th, 2005The witches were planning
A party that night
For their goulfriends, demons, goblins
And other purveyors of fright.
The caldron was steaming
With unsavory stew:
Eye of newt, wart of toad,
A most traditional brew.
The front yard tombstones
With dead flowers adorned;
Skeletons hung from the trees
So all might be warned
That Halloween Horrors
Hide behind tress and under rocks,
So it’s best to stay home
And hold someone’s Cock!
Happy Thanksgiving
Thursday, November 25th, 2004Happy Thanksgiving. I wish everyone a wonderful turkey day. I want to share a few sayings that you can only get away with at Thanksgiving.
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It’s cool whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
5. Whew, that’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds, yet?
8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some.
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuf it in.
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!
18. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it’s ready?
